Stephanie rolled her head towards James. "All things considered yeah" she replied. Her thumb ran down his leg, she was hardly fidgeting but she was still lost in her head. He wanted her to talk, she knew that. But where was she supposed to start? He already knew who did it. If she put her mind elsewhere then she wouldn't think of the hell that the jerk had put her through. No Jerk wasn't a strong enough word for this asshat. Stephanie had her suspicions that something bigger was going on than James let on. They were hauling a hummer for "vacation" she was starting to question things.

Then again Stephanie had been in Madison's shoes once upon a time. Stephanie knew what it was like to lose family. "I know you are probably... confused and disappointed..." right because that was a great conversation starter. There was no apologizing for it, because she knew if she had it to do all over again.... she wouldn't have done a damned thing different. It was hard enough to admit she had been through hell before becoming an officer. It was even harder to admit that her own CO was the one responsible. But did she really want James questioning his decision to go after the one who had been stalking Stephanie. That answer was no. So that was where she started. "The man stalking me... what he did to me.. it made it that much easier for things to happen again."

The Colonel wasn't going to give out names. It was the past and she didn't need James doing something utterly stupid, like tracking the guy down and getting himself discharged for assault or something in the process. "But I've moved on from that. I've let it go" She'd let it go in more ways than one. "So how about them yankees?" she used the typical Americanism to mean she wanted a subject change. It wasn't like her to ask for one. She usually just changed the subject without prompt from the ism. She snuggled up to James, a very easy task; she was also quite comfortable.

"All things considered yeah" James glanced down at her before returning his gaze to the front, - it was hard enough for her to talk and he knew it, briefly looking sideways at her he wondered what she was thinking "I know you are probably... confused and disappointed..." "No" James replied quickly quietly, sure he was upset but at Stephanie? No way! Not even for not telling him things, he couldn't bring himself to do that, it was hard yes but he understood, he had a feeling she might not believe him straight away but he knew what he felt and that was enough, he was confused yes but who wouldn't be? But he trusted Stephanie and that was important "The man stalking me... what he did to me.. it made it that much easier for things to happen again." James was silent as he gently moved his free hand which wasn't on the wheel over to her head and gently stroked her head, sure he knew already what he would do but right now no, he wanted to get to Tierney and make sure his family were safe first - yes even Madison who he considered family already, she was Stephanie's daughter - before he made any official decisions but not right now. "But I've moved on from that. I've let it go" James glanced down at her, he wondered just a little but kept quiet "So how about them yankees?" James shook his head, he knew she wanted a subject change, but he knew they had things to talk about, they had to - especially while they had the chance to away from the kids and prying ears, He started to absently play with her hair a little "Hey, tell me about Madison" he said softly. What, he was curious about the kid, but also he was trying to keep her talking, even if it meant going in a slightly different direction. He just didn't want to let it go so easily, if they didn't talk about it now they'd never talk about it 

Stephanie knew his answer was too quick. She sighed as she knew better. Maybe he wasn't upset at her but.. she wasn't sure she was ready to unconfuse either of them. She was fidgeting drawing circles on his thigh. He was successful in calming her down as he ran his hands through her hair. There was a long sigh. Stephanie didn't know what she wanted to say. Then he wouldn't let her change the subject. She narrowed eyes. What did he want her to say?

"Tell you what James?" She was a bit snappy. "Stuff I have no clue about. I didn't exactly want to screw up whatever shot at a normal life she had." She wasn't upset before but she was in a tizzy now. "You really want to know what happened that night and for months afterwards?" She didn't give him a chance to answer as she recounted everything she had gone through. Unbecoming of an officer wasn't even the half of it. He wanted to know so bad? Well now he knew.

Picking her head up off his lap she stared out the window into the side view mirror. She'd been okay until now. Stephanie had been pushed, and James hadn't exactly going poking at the information he was after with kid gloves either. Steph hadn't been upset before, now she was upset. Why had he pushed her? He didn't usually push so hard. Steph made a fist. The anger wasn't worth it, James could see through it. But that is what she did when she felt vulnerable. Too much too fast. Stephanie didn't build walls like she used to do with him but that didn't mean she didn't let her defense mechanisms kick off into place. Somewhere it made it hurt a little less just to try and push it all away.

Tag: reagan

"Tell you what James?" As she snapped at him James' eyes darted to her briefly, oh great - he mentally cringed "Stuff I have no clue about. I didn't exactly want to screw up whatever shot at a normal life she had." "Steph" James' voice was soft, trying to interrupt, trying to stop her, he knew what was coming and he didn't want her to carry on "You really want to know what happened that night and for months afterwards?" James opened his mouth but she had already launched and James winced, trying not to loose his focus. As she moved off his lap he glanced at her again "Hey" James fought between wanting to pull over and just carry on driving, if he pulled over there was a good chance Madison would pull over and either her or one or both of the twins would get out and come over, not something he wanted to happen. Maybe he could have chosen his words a little more carefully, he reached out towards her with his free hand and taking her hand he gently tugged at her hand forcing her towards him gently then wrapping his arm around her shoulders he pulled her gently towards him, once her head was near enough he placed his hand on her head "Hey, listen to me okay, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to push you" his tone was calm, gentle. A beat and he cast a glance at her, it was going to be a long drive and they'd only just started the trip, last thing he wanted was an upset Steph, he hated it when she wasn't ok.

James should know by now that trying to interrupt Stephanie when she went off on a subject, it was like trying to stop a speeding bullet. Deadly and/or useless. The woman would get on a roll and keep going. There was no changing that. Stephanie let him pull her towards him. Her head rested on the side of his arm. Though there was silence she settled. It was the past, why was she getting so worked up about it? Well she knew why, but she had never told anyone what happened with her CO.

Stephanie sighed as she watched out the window. Somewhere to focus, that could calm her down. "No." she was rather blunt. "Don't you dare apologise James" Sitting up a bit more she shifted so that her right arm crossed her body to rest on his shoulder as he drove. In reality, she was the one who should be apologizing but that just wasn't her thing.

Now trying desperately to change the subject again, as he darted again around what he wanted to ask. Though she kept the silence mostly watching him through the window. Sometimes she could see the image of her dad in James' face. More so when he was in uniform but at the moment in the mirror also happened to be one of those moments. She soon was back to laying on James' lap with a blanket pulled over her. "Remind me when we stop I need to get a case of water." Stephanie was completely picky about her water. It had to be bottled and it had to be a certain type. One of those strange people that could taste the difference. Playing with the cap of her squirt bottle with her teeth she popped it open. One of her TERRIBLE habits, opening the cap with her teeth. She took a sip and sighed.

Tag: reagan

Glad that she had let him pull her to him he let her lay against his arm as he kept his free hand on her shoulder "No." "Don't you dare apologise James" James shook his head, now was not the time to argue the point, he did need to apologise, but of course right now he wasn't about to go pushing that, there were times when arguing wouldn't go down well. 

A comfortable silence soon fell and eventually Steph was back laying on his lap, he let his free hand gently stroke her head as he continued to drive "Remind me when we stop I need to get a case of water." James nodded, hearing her pop her water bottle James cringed - shaking his head, as she sighed James glanced down at her before absently playing with her hair, his thoughts growing as he stared at the road ahead, at least the roads weren't too bad.

Stephanie popped her water bottle each time she took a sip out of it. More a bad habit than anything else. She was just closing it up again as her phone rang setting the water bottle down she grabbed her phone off the middle console at the front of the truck and answered it. It was Don's brother and Natalie's husband. "What do you want David?" She asked the moment she answered the phone. Her tone suggested she didn't care for the caller on the other end. She stuck the phone to her ear and sat up.

"I was calling to check on you and Madison." he spoke.

"You have no RIGHT to ask me that. You ruined any chance of any family you had with me the moment you lied to Natalie." She hissed. "To what end David? To save your marriage? Because you couldn't admit you'd slept with your brother's wife?? Now you care about family?" She snapped.

"Stephanie, you have always been my daughter. You know that." he tried to reason.

"Father's don't leave their daughters to suffer. You are NOTHING to me" she snapped. "You stay away from us." her voice was threatening.

"Your husband must be reasonable. Let me speak with him." He suggested.

"There is no way in HELL. He will let me shoot you." Okay so that was probably debatable but David didn't need to know that.

"Stephanie...." he reasoned.

"Don't Stephanie me. You screwed up! I will not let you fix it, just because you want to play house now David!" she screamed into the phone. Though she didn't hang it up. Though she slammed the dashboard with her left hand with quite a bit of force. Stephanie was truly angry at the guy. There was no front for the anger. Though she was hiding the hurt, but only from her voice not from her face. There was a very strong urge to throw something, but she balled her hand into a strong fist instead and then relaxed it. When Stephanie was this keyed up, good luck winding her down.

Tag: reagan

James did not show any reaction to the popping, he was so very tempted to reach over and pluck it out of her hand and was about to when her cellphone rang and he had a break from the popping - he glanced at her, knowing that he wouldn't be able to listen in he'd rely on what he could hear "What do you want David?" James rose a brow at her tone, but he continued to focus, looking ahead as he listened to what Steph was saying "You have no RIGHT to ask me that. You ruined any chance of any family you had with me the moment you lied to Natalie." Natalie? Only Natalie he could think of was her aunt? James didn't remove his focus "To what end David? To save your marriage? Because you couldn't admit you'd slept with your brother's wife?? Now you care about family?" James cringed, so that was why she didn't call him uncle, he gripped the wheel firmly "Father's don't leave their daughters to suffer. You are NOTHING to me" James couldn't blame her for being angry, but he didn't want her to lash out "You stay away from us." that tone didn't tell him anything good was being said on the other end "There is no way in HELL. He will let me shoot you." James nailed her with a sideways look, really?! "Don't Stephanie me. You screwed up! I will not let you fix it, just because you want to play house now David!" as she screamed down the phone and slammed the dashboard James reached over with the hand nearest her and snatching the phone out of her hand and placing it in the opposite hand as he switched hands he placed the cellphone to his right ear "Hello, this is Captain Reagan" he said dryly "Who is this and why are you bothering my wife?" Oh he'd feign ignorance, feign innocence - within him his blood boiled.

Taking Stephanie's water bottle was only asking for a fight. Though he didn't get the chance to take it so that was a moot point. Stephanie was too busy yelling at the phone to notice the sideways look that James was giving her. With his phone on the right hand side she could easily snatch it back while he was driving. Though she was too angry to even bother right at the moment. Though when he spoke towards James she wasn't too pleased that he had decided to handle this situation.

"James let me handle this" she protested. If he hadn't been driving she would have snatched the phone. "You are driving put the phone down" she hated when he was on the phone and driving at the same time. Stephanie was not pleased right now and James was even pushing the envelope of her ever whittling patience.

"There is nothing wrong with calling to talk to my daughter, Mr. Reagan." The voice on the other line pointed out.

Stephanie couldn't hear the phone and it was frustrating her more. Popping her water bottle she took a sip out of it. Closing it she leaned against the window and stared out of it. The water bottle landed on the floor board as she tossed it down there. Stephanie reached her left hand out and rested it on James' leg. The brunette was worked up and calming down when in the car was tricky when she was angry. It wasn't as easy to settle her down when she was truly angry. There was no where to run.

Tag: reagan

"James let me handle this" James switched sides, moving the phone to his left ear, more to prevent her from trying to snatch it from him "You are driving put the phone down" James shot her a look, one that was telling her in so many ways 'chill' he knew he was pushing it but "There is nothing wrong with calling to talk to my daughter, Mr. Reagan." "It's Captain" James retorted shortly - glancing at Steph as she tossed her water bottle down, he wanted to reach out, hug her and try calm her down but he'd taken the phone so now he'd finish it "And with all due respect - sir" not that James respected this guy from what he'd just worked out, really he wanted to spew out what he really thought but his rational side stopped him from saying more than he should "Her father died when she was a child" he removed the phone from his ear and hitting hang up he switched hands on it and dropping it onto her lap he wrapped his right arm around her as his left hand moved to the steering wheel "Hey, he's not worth getting worked up over" he said softly as he pulled her towards his side again gently.

Stephanie would have snatched the phone but he moved it over to his other side. In the house, that wouldn't have worked. In the car, it worked because she didn't feel like having them wreck because she was being stupid. Just because she turned into a hot head didn't mean she lost brain cells. Was James really telling her what to do? Chill? Right, like when pigs grew wings and flew. There were times she could reach other and smack him. Now was one of those times, but she didn't. Again, it was only because they were driving. That didn't mean he wouldn't get swatted at the first rest stop. Stephanie was very good at vendettas. Holding a grudge? Yep, she was good at that too.


Stephanie laid back down where she had been before the phone rang. With her water on the ground, she had gone to fidgeting with her hands. At the moment she had her own set of keys in her hand and she was fidgeting with them. It gave her something to put her mind on. Stephanie didn't answer James. She just laid across his lap, almost enthralled with the keys. Stephanie in the car was like a kid. There had to be SOMETHING to keep her attention. If it wasn't the road it was going to be every other object in the car.

Tag: reagan

James glanced at her, fidgeting - that was what she did, and he knew it - at least she hadn't tried to swat him for it, he knew she would have loved to and probably still would once they stopped. At least they had a while yet before they could stop so James was safe for a moment, he hoped. Gently he rubbed her arm, he knew she had a lot on her plate, a lot going on - he hated it when things got to her, he butted in for a reason and sometimes it meant she didn't like it but the way James saw it, it was either that or watch her get really agitated and then he'd have a mess to clean up. Yes he got protective of her, but that was who he was and he knew she knew that.

There was a reason for this move and he wasn't keen on letting anything get in the way, no this was for her and for her alone, and Madison now that she was in the picture. Speaking of Madison, again James knew he couldn't just skirt around the subject 

He let his hand rest on her arm as he gazed ahead, thoughtfully, contemplating his words "When" he marked a pause and glanced at her for a second, yes he wanted to "When Mya was attacked, and found out later that she was pregnant she was afraid to tell me. But when I got it out of her, she-" James played absently with the hem of the blanket around Steph "She asked me, whether we wanted to keep the child or not" he didn't seem to flinch "I asked her what she wanted to do, she said that she didn't want to punish the child-" a beat "I asked her if she'd let me support her, she wanted my support. We mutually agreed to give her the best life possible" James looked briefly over at Steph "You did the right thing giving her a chance at a normal life - I'm not telling you it was wrong- You did what you had to do" allowing his words to hang for a moment James glanced purposely in the rearview mirror, looking briefly at the car behind them before glancing at Steph "And earlier, I was just asking what you knew about her, I mean like if you got a chance to be with her before you gave her up?" he asked gently rubbing her arm and reaching for her hand.

Stephanie listened to James talking. It was enough of a distract to listen to him talk. Though if he wanted to talk, then she always listened. Though she noticed him playing with the blanket edge. She knew him well enough to know that he did that as a comfort. Much like she did with her fidgeting. Though she couldn't help but hear the words. 'did what you had to do' she hated that phrase more than the dreaded 'we need to talk' phrase that took on some other variant. She was just glad that he couldn't see her face.

Feeling him rubbing on her arm. She still hadn't said anything. Then he had to bring up the one thing she regretted now. "I wanted her parents to bond with her. It was my choice." She didn't say yes but she didn't say no and had purposefully not answered his question. Part of her then had been afraid to look into Madison's eyes and see her CO's face. Did she even admit to James that she didn't even know was going to be a girl.

In a way, she was jealous of James in those regards. She hadn't a doubt in his mind that he was there when the twins were born. Stephanie was clearly there for her own daughter physically; but mentally she had been... somewhere else. Stuck in her head. Of course none of this was anything she was willing to try and remember. No she turned her mind to something else.

Stephanie was big into computer but never had been one for playing games on her devices. Even in the car she read. Reaching down for her tablet out of her bag she plugged it into the car adapter and turned it on. The battery was on half battery and she knew better to try and read on half a battery. Not that she was ignoring James with her head in a book, she never did. But it was better than the motion of the trees making her wish she was anywhere but the car.

"If you are digging for something in my life that ever went the way I pictured things going for me; you won't find it." She mused. "I told my first foster mother that one day I was going to be a princess." She laughed a little at the sentiment. "I even had a pet dragon to guard the castle." She shook her head some. "For the record he was an iguana. Pablo." There was a brief pause before she spoke again. "They were going to adopt me; but couldn't get the state's approval. The family was transferred by the Marine Corp and they couldn't get permission to take me with them either." She sighed as she tapped the tablet screen to turn the page. "Probably the only foster family that wanted me for more than a tax break" she admitted. "They divorced a few years back. I call and check up on them every now and again." There was a mystery number in her phone that had no name beside it. That was the number she was referring to calling.

Tag: reagan

"I wanted her parents to bond with her. It was my choice." he knew she had avoided his question but didn't pursue it. "If you are digging for something in my life that ever went the way I pictured things going for me; you won't find it." glancing at her he held his peace at least until she started speaking again "I told my first foster mother that one day I was going to be a princess." Oh the grin on James' face was unmissable, glad that Steph was also laughing about it "I even had a pet dragon to guard the castle." "For the record he was an iguana. Pablo." James gave a light chuckle. "They were going to adopt me; but couldn't get the state's approval. The family was transferred by the Marine Corp and they couldn't get permission to take me with them either." Well, that sucked, a lot "Probably the only foster family that wanted me for more than a tax break" James glanced at her "They divorced a few years back. I call and check up on them every now and again." Nodding James watched the road quietly "Hey" he said after a moment as he moved his hand to her shoulder "At least you didn't want to be a cowboy" he said smirking "Before my dad died I said I wanted to be a cowboy regardless of the fact most of my family were Navy or some other branch" he shook his head "Had the whole kit too" he winked.


Was he really just avoiding things? Probably.

Stephanie shook her head. It was nice to hear James laugh even if it was something to do with Stephanie deciding to go against her own desires. Well at least he didn't find a new nickname for her. Sunflower she could handle, if he got other ideas well there were pressure points for that.

Then he talked about being a cowboy. There was irony in that. "You can be both" Her dad was proof of that. More and more James reminded Steph of Don. "I don't believe for a moment the cowboy in you ever left." Stephanie ran her hand over his knee.

"Just maybe a little confused." Stephanie's teasing was kept light. "It's funny what we see as kids. Where we wanted to be, where we are." Her whole life she'd just wanted to find someone who didn't give up on her. Now here she was. It was a small relief, but if she could fight here other demons.

Closing her eyes for only a moment she felt relaxed enough to want to sleep. Though she was far from tired. Stephanie was still in a decent mood. She wasn't letting anything get to her as she usually did.

Tag: reagan